Notepad on Life

September 10, 2012

More corporate bilge – Mars

Filed under: business,Consumer,food,Health — - @ 9:00 am
Mars (chocolate bar)

Mmmmm, feel the health… (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

While I can understand Mars wanting to keep a discreet distance between themselves and Scotland’s beloved fried Mars Bar – although Oscar Wilde’s line about there being no such thing as bad publicity springs to mind – one wonders what the point is, when the way they go about it leaves them wide open to ridicule.

“No application for a protected geographical indication has been filed to date,” sniffed the company’s nameless ‘spokesperson, when asked about a request for EU protected status by the fish and chip shop that claims to be the delicacy’s spiritual home.

“Should an application be filed, unfortunately, we wouldn’t be able to support it as deep-frying one of our products would go against our commitment to promoting healthy, active lifestyles.”

Earth to Mars, Earth to Mars: you make chocolate bars, for crying out loud. What ‘commitment’ would that be, exactly? Unless this is a belated attempt to justify the way in which we all get a lot less Mars Bar for a lot more money these days, compared to the chunky slab of the 1970s.

Britain being the paranoid, bureaucracy ridden mess it is nowadays, you won’t be surprised to hear that it’s all been taken care of with a piece of paper. The fish bar must now display a disclaimer on its walls. And on the menu. And tattooed on the proprietor’s right buttock. All right, I made that last bit up.

“I suspect Mars is concerned that the deep-frying of its products is not in line with its policy of promoting a healthy lifestyle and it is keen to take steps to protect its own brand,” said an intellectual property lawyer.

Yet if ‘protecting the brand’ entails making its custodians look like yet another bunch of pathetic, twitchy corporate nitwits, the overall gain is where, exactly?

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