Notepad on Life

October 21, 2014

Movie credits could use a spoiler alert

Filed under: Cinema,sex — - @ 9:10 am
Tags: ,
Sasha Grey Accepting the AVN Award For Best Or...

Cultural apocalypse: they have awards for this kind of thing… (Photo: Wikipedia)

I’ve grumbled before about the surfeit of useless information once closing credits roll up the big screen.

Believe it or not, my evening’s enjoyment is not enhanced one iota by knowing whom the unit accountants or standby plasterers were.

Having sat through Gone Girl at the weekend, however, I believe there is one item of small print that really should go into more detail. The age certificate at the start.

‘Adult language and sex themes’ doesn’t help me make a fully informed decision, you see. What I really needed Saturday night was something like this:

“Contains two scenes of oral sex. The first one not so bad, because you can focus furiously on your popcorn and act like that’s the only reason you’re there in the first place. The second, however, comes late, when the popcorn is long gone and you have nowhere to hide, leaving you to squirm uncomfortably in a room full of complete strangers.”

I don’t say I’d have walked out and demanded my money back. I could have at least braced myself, however.

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