Notepad on Life

January 19, 2017

Bag it, PM – voter empathy trumps matching outfits

Filed under: Appearance,politics — - @ 1:56 pm

Sometime, the small things are the big giveaway.

Ostensibly, Prime Minister Theresa May has impressed me so far. Her wish to be a government for all and not just some, struck the right note. Her pursuit of Brexit, after campaigning for Remain, has been so dogged, I occasionally wonder what the catch will be.

Others, of course, wonder if she has a plan at all, never mind a catch. Time will tell if my belief that politicians and businessmen would rather do a deal than leave money on the table, is vindicated.

This, however, is the first chip in her veneer. When the economy is uncertain, the National Health Service shaky and the future unclear, I just think a truly savvy leader would recognise that the £995 handbag is best kept for off-duty moments.

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August 19, 2014

Struggling to crack athletics dress code

Filed under: Appearance,Sport — - @ 1:59 pm
Tags: ,

Full of admiration as I am for the achievements of British athletes at last week’s European Championships, one thing troubles me.

Is there something I’m not getting about aerodynamics and the female body?

Some consequence of physics that decrees that while it’s okay for male athletes to perform in full length shirts and shorts extending half-way down the thigh, women can only perform to their best if sporting 12 inches of bare midriff and glorified bikini pants?

I hope there is a technical answer to this question, because if not, it begs another one.

In a society that normally clamps down hard on the objectification of women, how come athletics is getting a free pass?

March 11, 2014

Tattoo artist finds self in hole. Keeps digging.

Filed under: Appearance,foreign — - @ 9:00 am
Tags: ,
Screenshot of Audrey Hepburn from the film Charade

Audrey Hepburn: in the drab, untinted state that turned off an entire generation of men  (Photo: Wikipedia)

According to one commentator, Seattle-based artist Cheyenne Randall “has come up with an interesting way of making [tattoos] more popular – by Photoshopping them onto the skins of famous people throughout history.”

Including Audrey Hepburn.

Of course, there is an argument that such blasphem an exercise may have a rather different effect on the perception of body art from the one Mr Randall is hoping for.

But as that clearly hasn’t crossed his mind, we’ll leave him to enjoy his moment.

July 24, 2013

Old spice of new life

Filed under: Appearance,Family,Kids,Nostalgia — - @ 8:35 am
Tags: ,

Older Son heads out of the door for some beers with his friends.

He’s always been a bit retro but his sudden fondness for Old Spice cologne is startling even by his standards. But then, if you weren’t around in its heyday, can you actually be accused of being behind the times? Who can urge him to move on, when he was never there to start with?

I’m glad he doesn’t ask me how he smells, all the same. I’m not sure “Like 1976” would have gone down too well.

 

July 6, 2012

Conditioner, plumper and a circular argument

Filed under: Appearance,Consumer,Family — - @ 9:00 am
Tags:

I am awoken by Mrs NoL raving about her new skin conditioner, which she believes is taking care of several wrinkles that had been making themselves at home around her eyebrows.

“It contains a plumping agent, you see,” she enthuses.

I am married to a woman whose battle with weight has been an ongoing source of dismay for her ever since she produced our first child, 18 years ago.

She is now cock-a-hoop over a plumping agent.

I cannot think of a thing to say.

January 5, 2011

On the 12th day of Christmas…

Filed under: Appearance,Christmas,food — - @ 6:17 am
Tags: ,

Eighteen stone.

Eighteen bloody stone.

And 12 ounces.

September 19, 2010

Jesus and clothing arguments

Filed under: Appearance,Church,Family,Religion — - @ 8:21 am
Tags: ,
Stained glass at St John the Baptist's Anglica...

Image via Wikipedia

.

.

Older Son may be becoming a bit of a theological handful.

“Haven’t you got anything a little smarter to wear for church?” I just asked him.

“No,” he replied, “but then when did Jesus ever dress for the occasion…?

May 6, 2010

Beating the drum for the scourge of female tattoos

Filed under: Appearance — - @ 6:24 am
Tags: , ,
Artistic tattoo on lower leg
Image via Wikipedia

I’m not totally narrow-minded on the subject.

When female tattoos first came in vogue, I was with Ross in Friends: the small, dainty, discreet ones did indeed look sexy.

The large, shoulder-to-shoulder ones towards which the genre has gravitated, on the other hand, are about as sexy as a plumber’s bum-crack and it was high time someone said so in a way that exposes this travesty for what it is.

Hats off, then, to the spare-no-blushes redneck fly fishing forum at The Drake.

‘Tramp stamp’.

Love it.

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January 30, 2010

When personal grooming becomes agriculture

Filed under: Appearance — - @ 1:11 am
Tags: , ,
Rabindra sangeet origins from the works of Rab...
Image via Wikipedia

My beard is just over a month old and starting to take on the labrynthine qualities of an Arabian souk.

I was within a whiske second or so of leaving the house yesterday with a glob of honey glinting in its midst like an amber stone in a thicket.

This appalled me. One notch down from the bearded smoker with ochre fur around his lips, is the tramp whose facial hair tells the story of his eating habits for the last three days.

As I frantically scraped the honey from my face and looked around for other offending items, it occurred to me that there is a fine boundary separating grooming from farming, the latter a mix of crop cultivation and the husbandry of a small, furry animal.

And I’ve just crossed it.

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January 15, 2010

The chin as sex toy

Filed under: Appearance,Family,Kids — - @ 8:03 am
Tags: , ,
Mandible
Image via Wikipedia

Grow a beard,” wife and children clamoured over Christmas. So I did.

I’m open-minded about it: personally, I think it ages me but others say it works. So, until last night, it sat there, a mere work-in-progress.

Then my wife casually stroked it during a conversation in the kitchen and I felt a frisson of pleasure through my lower jaw hitherto unknown.

My chin, it would appear, has become an erogenous zone.

So many sexual avenues are being sealed off at my time of life, to find one actually opening up puts a certain spring in my step.

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